S2. E28. How to Regulate your Nervous System and find Safety w. Lisa Cipparone

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[00:00:08] Lisa is a nervous system reset practitioner and an expressive arts therapist in training. . And this conversation was so good. And actually it got even better after I stopped the recording. I wish you could have heard. Because we talked for another half an hour after I stopped the recording and Lisa has so much knowledge, so much experience in this area.

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[00:00:55] So I was definitely nerding out throughout this conversation and the post conversation afterwards. I really hope that you'll learn something new in this conversation. You'll find it helpful and applicable to your life in some way.

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[00:01:19] Mhm.

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[00:01:29] Lisa: Thanks for having me. Thank you. Thank you.

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[00:01:35] Lisa: Yes. So I am a seasoned wellness practitioner. I've been a yoga teacher for 23 years, a energy healer for about 23 years.

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[00:01:57] Natalie: Lisa, I'd like to start with the This Filled My Cup segment. Can you tell me about a past episode that really spoke to you?

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[00:02:30] Lisa: Awesome.

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[00:02:32] Lisa: I'm so excited to get into this conversation because when we first met and you talked about the nervous system, I think at that time, I didn't really understand too much about the nervous system, how it impacts our body.

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[00:03:02] Lisa: A lot of people just talk about stress and that's it, but we're not talking about what's happening in the body. What can we feel, and how it's impacting our nervous system. But before we get into all of that, let's start with the backstory. What is your personal backstory and how did you end up getting involved in this line of work?

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[00:03:42] Lisa: What I thought was just a car accident was actually traumatizing and traumatic event for me that I didn't put in that category. So I woke up and I went on a deep dive on the nervous system and this is 2020, so four years ago. So it was just really burgeoning.

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[00:04:23] Lisa: I thought that was just me really excited and kind of overwhelmed and that was okay, but really it's not. We should be able to find peace and calm.

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[00:05:04] Lisa: So now I'm what I call nervous system informed. There's trauma informed and I'm also nervous system informed. Yeah.

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[00:05:29] Natalie: Right. And this is something kind of new to me. Again, it wasn't talked about in my world, like this, this whole idea of trauma being stored in the body and the mind body connection, it's actually through this podcast and speaking with guests that I have learned so much about this topic, and then I kind of go and do my own research and I find interesting to understand, not just trauma that's stored in our body, but also when our bodies are dysregulated, when our nervous system is dysregulated, how this impacts our overall wellbeing.

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[00:06:17] Natalie: Like other parts. And so this is why having a holistic view and, and also holistic tools. We need a bigger toolkit. It's always therapy, which therapy is great, but there are other things in the toolkit, too, besides that, and some of them can be activated by yourself, and some of them you might need support with, but I think the more that we know, we can expand our toolkit and have different options for different scenarios.

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[00:06:50] Lisa: So how do we know when we're dysregulated?

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[00:07:14] Lisa: Activation is in the moment dysregulation comes later. So when we get activated by a traumatic event a shocking experience, a car accident we see something violent. We're in a job that's really stressful and we become activated by another from our boss. So different physiological things happen.

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[00:07:55] Lisa: So when we're in dysregulation, When we're in acute activation, our prefrontal cortex goes offline, so we can't hear very well. We can't comprehend what's going on very well. We're in that like deer to head like kind of a shop place and our brain kind of stops functioning, goes offline. We can get really defensive as well or feel really bored surprisingly.

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[00:08:44] Lisa: We haven't been able to complete the cycle, the stress response. We haven't been able to get out of that activated state. So, if we think about a temperature gauge for a minute, and on the bottom of the temperature gauge is social engagement, we're all really happy, and we can have a nice conversation when we're getting along.

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[00:09:25] Lisa: And then we can get activated again. We can elevate up the temperature gauge and we can come back down. It's when we begin to go up and don't come all the way down. And then we go up again. And then we don't come all the way down to begin to live in these hyper aroused state. We begin to live in a stress response.

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[00:10:02] Natalie: Can you explain more about what is the relationship then between safety and between the nervous system?

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[00:10:24] Lisa: It's it looks all around. It lights up the whole area and it's looking for danger. And if no danger is found, then our nervous system can help us find it. Relax, soften, shift into that social engagement way of feeling and we feel safe. So safety is a felt sense. I want to just broaden this topic for a moment because as a yoga teacher, I would try and make the space that I was teaching in really beautiful and I would have candles and I would have incense and I'd make a sacred, safe space for my, Students to come into, but what I later learned was if students coming in are dysregulated, if they're activated, nothing I do will make them feel safe.

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[00:11:45] Lisa: And when their nervous system understands where they are in space, and that the space that they're in is a safe one, it looks safe, it feels safe, smells lovely. Then the physiology can shift, we can downregulate, we can settle in and we can feel calm, right? So safety is critical piece of the puzzle and our body, our nervous system is trying to keep us safe.

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[00:12:29] Lisa: And this is really important to understand. Because it takes the burden off the person with that experience thinking, Oh, it's my fault. Something's wrong with me. Nothing is wrong with you. How brilliant is your nervous system in your body to keep you in that, that place where you're ready to run, you're ready to fight because safety is first, right?

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[00:13:18] Lisa: Awareness so that we can be safe.

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[00:13:45] Lisa: So I think it's really individual. I think it can be anything. So if someone's been in a physically abusive relationship and they go to a dance and everyone's dancing and their arms are in the air and flailing around, that could be activating for them when they see unexpected movement coming toward them.

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[00:14:30] Lisa: I think it's really individual. And you know, your boss can be aggressive. Maybe you have an abusive partner and then you're, you're bosses of the same sex and they're really also aggressive. So it could really be anything.

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[00:14:49] Natalie: It can just be an emotion or a motion or something that triggers the memory of that experience. And that is enough. Even just the memory of it, because you've experienced it before. So now it's come right back and you can recall it quickly to bring you back into this activated state. So how does this connect then to restorative tremors?

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[00:15:42] Lisa: So you know, when you have a dog or a cat or an animal and they have a fright and then they just automatically just twitch and tremor and have a little bit of a shake, right? That's a neuromuscular response to the completion of a stress response. So that dog or cat was activated. Then they realize that experience is over.

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[00:16:26] Lisa: So in this process in nervous system reset we're sort of tremor comes in the program about halfway. It comes in after a lot of resourcing has been done with the client. And what I mean by that is I've worked with a client one on one. And we test and scale, so we measure specific sensory explorations like external orienting, internal orienting, movement, touch, and we figure out by scaling, how do you feel a scale of 1 to 10 now, and then how do you feel after doing the exercise.

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[00:17:31] Lisa: What settling is like in their body. So they have an under a better understanding of how their body's trying to communicate with them. That's foundational work before we shift into a sort of tremor. So once that has been established, they really understand their nervous system. Now they understand the cues.

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[00:18:09] Lisa: And that's another really important point. Knowing your capacity and when you've had enough, when you're satisfied, satiated and a little bit full. Or when you're going having too many plates of beautiful beautiful buffet, I always use Indian foods. I love Indian food and I always eat too much of it in the sitting, right?

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[00:18:49] Lisa: So we're sort of tremor can look and feel like warmth, tingling, buzzing, purring, electrical current, or it can be a bit stronger and it can feel like a tremble or tremor or a full on shake. So the client is not shaking their body purposefully. This comes from a deeper muscular neuromuscular release.

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[00:19:36] Lisa: Or we're put into an ambulance and we're strapped down. And even if we want to tremor, we can't because we're literally strapped on the table. Or we're given morphine, or we're given some kind of medication to sedate us. So, for the most part, people don't allow their system to naturally go into that neuromuscular tremoring response.

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[00:20:35] Lisa: Most people tremor between 10 seconds and a minute in the tremor process.

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[00:20:47] Natalie: When it's all been released, or is it just a forever release? Like, that's what I want to know.

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[00:21:07] Lisa: So it's in that toolbox. It is something that we can use for past trauma and current everyday life.

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[00:21:37] Natalie: I'd love for you to talk about how can this be a tool that would support and empower individuals to live joyfully and more playfully.

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[00:21:54] Lisa: We've talked about the normal term is window of tolerance. We don't want to tolerate things. You want to have a capacity for them. So as we build our capacity in our nervous system with all of the resourcing that we're doing, the gentle and very, very slow we're sort of tremor process.

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[00:22:40] Lisa: The same muscle is utilized in restorative tremor as it is in orgasmic pleasure. So when we can relax and release that energy. Other forms of pleasure awaken in our body as well. So there's that daily joyful presence with your child. Cause you can be more present when you're more relaxed and grounded and you can experience more joy with your partner.

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[00:23:09] Natalie: Yeah, yeah, no, I love that. And I love how it ties into capacity because I think for any of the listeners, sometimes even, even at the most basic level, if you just think of capacity as What can you Hold and not hold, right? Like in your life, what do you have space for?

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[00:23:43] Natalie: And then obviously, For this, I like that you're, this is a way to release some of what has been clogging up that capacity so that you can then again have more space and space leads to joy and playfulness. So I absolutely love that. For my final question, I'd love to know what is maybe just one or two practical tips that you can give the listeners who might feel that they need to start some regulation within their own nervous system.

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[00:24:25] Lisa: That's your physiology. And if we suppress it, we're suppressing our physiology. Those three things, yawning especially, is our body literally down regulating relaxing. A yawn in front of somebody else actually means that I feel comfortable enough to relax in front of you, to open my throat to you and my mouth to you, you know, but this is a vulnerable area of my body, but if you, if you allow yourself to yawn and you can bring on your own yawn as well.

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[00:25:20] Lisa: So when you walk into a new space, whether it's a grocery store, your car, a different room in your house, pause. Slowly look around the room that you're in, move your head and your eyes from one side to the ceiling, to the floor, to the other side, ceiling, floor, looking behind you really slow. Looking for an exit, look beyond and outside a window if you can and give your body, give your nervous system a few moments to unwind.

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[00:26:14] Natalie: I love that. Those are such great tips. I don't think I've ever heard either of those before. The yawning, passing out, burping, kind of put those together and then orienting yourself to the physical space. space that those those sound genius. And I think that those are things that people can actually do right away.

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[00:26:47] Natalie: And I have a better appreciation for my body after what you've explained and for my nervous system and its role in just in keeping me safe. And I think sometimes we can be really hard on ourselves, especially as women, we can be really hard on ourselves and on our bodies. And so I think this is just a moment for those listening and for myself too, to just, you know, just say thank you and just take a moment to appreciate Your body and your nervous system for all it's doing And now we will transition to rapid fire.

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[00:27:15] Natalie: So are you ready? Okay, the first question is what is something on your bucket list that you have not done yet?

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[00:27:27] Natalie: Okay With if you could master one skill overnight, what would it be? You Patience. . . I know. Oh, me too. . Okay. Would you rather take a cruise or do an all-inclusive vacation?

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[00:27:51] Lisa: I would feel there's too many people at the inclusive and too many buffet choices. I would get overwhelmed. Sorry, but neither one.

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[00:28:08] Natalie: Peter Levine.

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[00:28:21] Natalie: What's your favorite way to fill your cup

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[00:28:34] Lisa: Okay.

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[00:28:46] Lisa: Family, friends, and rest. Okay.

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[00:29:14] Natalie: And just knowing that Even if things happen, there are tools that we can add to our toolkit to help us out so we don't have to stay stuck. We can process that. So to the listeners, make sure you check out Lisa's work, follow her, connect with her.

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