S2.E19. Shifting your Money Mindset, Learning the Rules of the Wealthy and Overcoming Financial Struggles w Shay Meyers

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[00:00:31] Mhm.

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[00:00:47] Shay: Thank you so much for having me. I appreciate it.

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[00:00:59] Shay: Yes, so I listened to the episode Protect Your Energy, which it's all about what I've been doing over the past four years. I've become a self proclaimed master at protecting my energy, but this episode was a friendly reminder.

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[00:01:27] Natalie: That is a whole word there. I'm going to have to talk about this.

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[00:01:45] Natalie: You're just not in the same mindset anymore. You don't have the same goals. You're not headed the same direction. And sometimes it's just time to walk away.

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[00:02:03] Shay: It's just what I care about. And when I want to spend my time doing is a lot different. And so my friend. My friend circle has changed because of that, right? Like, you, you know how they say, if you have five broke friends, you'll be the sixth? And you can replace broke with whatever word you want. But I, I really truly believe in that.

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[00:02:31] Natalie: No, not a bad thing at all. I love that. So let's talk about this. It's finances, you're a licensed financial professional, but how did you get into like this line of work? What was your relationship like with money growing up?

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[00:02:47] Shay: Yeah. So relationship with money non existent, I pretty much didn't have very many responsibilities when I was a kid and I was taught to be just safe. I'm just like, safe for what? Like if I get into a little kerfuffle, you're going to pay for it. You're going to help me out.

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[00:03:25] Shay: And I was like, Assuming that their parents were paying for it and not realizing that they actually got a job of making money and managing it better than I was, right? So when I was 28, I found myself with $200 to my name in a 4 76 credit score, and I just felt really unattractive to myself financially.

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[00:04:09] Shay: It was just like it needed to stop, you know, and so I stumbled into this field because once I got a full time job at 28, I wanted to be better and I went and I sought out the help, right? And I was telling people that I was applying first. So I needed help. I got the help and I saw how impactful that was.

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[00:04:50] Natalie: I love the idea that you are a client first, because then, you know, when you're working with your clients, you know exactly what it was like.

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[00:05:11] Natalie: So it can be really Powerful for someone to know, well, you know what? This person was also there. Like they also had a low credit score. They also didn't have money, but they were able to get out of it. And I think that's what you want to see is when you're working with someone, like, can they understand my position?

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[00:05:43] Natalie: What are some of the fears? What are the fears that people have around money and finances?

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[00:06:04] Shay: There's that mindset of, if I do get money, I need to hold onto it, and I don't want to, you know, maybe invest in things that could actually help me. Thank you. Or there's also the mindset that people think that they don't deserve abundance. They don't think that they deserve to have nice things or experience luxury in certain ways.

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[00:06:46] Shay: How did I feel before? What was my upbringing? What were my parents beliefs about money? Did I inherit or internalize any of those things to be able to let go and move forward? So that's the piece that I'm finding a lot of people. They think that they can just come in, learn all this stuff and move forward.

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[00:07:14] Natalie: Yeah, I think that's a really powerful revelation, because the thing is, when we talk about our money beliefs and growing up, it's not even necessarily the things that people told you.

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[00:07:42] Natalie: No, you can't go on the school trip. No, you can't get this name brand clothing. Like all of those messages, you start to adopt it. And I find that people go one of two ways. Like they either go and say, you know, I didn't have money growing up. And so now I'm going to live my life differently. And I'm going to spend, spend, spend, and I'm going to give myself all the things I didn't get when I was younger.

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[00:08:16] Shay: Yeah. And what you said was so true because, you know, especially in our communities, people don't talk about money.

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[00:08:51] Shay: Because even if a parent said, you know what, I don't know anything about money. So what I'm doing may not be the best, but I would encourage you to see someone who has better habits. Imagine just the relationship that creates, if we're able to be like, I don't know. Cause there's also a lot of people who pretend like they know, and then they're teaching, I don't want to say wrong things, but they're just teaching habits.

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[00:09:20] Natalie: Yeah, and there's a lot of people who are actually really confident in giving advice that they shouldn't, like they should have no business giving the advice that they do. And the thing is, it's so harmful because the people who listen to their advice, they're like, Oh, well, so and so told me, and then they just, you know, go down these different paths.

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[00:09:56] Natalie: That way, you know, okay, this information really is good and you don't need to just, you know, move and leap on the very first piece of advice that you hear.

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[00:10:12] Shay: And it's like, it depends on you and where you are and your cash flow and all of that stuff. So it's very easy to paint this specific picture of a result that maybe people want, but everybody is different. Somebody's the amount of debt that they have, if they've already already been investing. All of these little nuances will determine what somebody should do.

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[00:10:50] Natalie: Yeah. I couldn't agree more with that, especially too, because even things like risk tolerance and just your emotional relationship with money.

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[00:11:13] Natalie: So it's so, I love that you said personal finance is personal. And you know this because you have your own personal story. So you mentioned a bit earlier that you had a credit score of four 76. You know, that, that's a little low, it's, it's, it's a little low, um, but you know, you, you turned it around, you say 40, 000 and invested 20, 000 in nine months.

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[00:11:42] Shay: Yes. So one thing that's really big about me is that I'm really transparent. I have been blessed to Be living with my family. We get along, which is amazing. So that definitely helps.

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[00:12:17] Shay: Like now I don't even know what that means because some people will be like, 50, 000 is great. And we'll be like, nah, if you're making less than a hundred K, like it's too early. So you know,

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[00:12:29] Shay: but yeah, but on top of the salary, I was also earning commission as well. So I did have a great, consistent cashflow, which really helped.

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[00:13:09] Shay: And so that was the goal. My very first goal was actually a thousand dollars. I did not believe that I would be able to save more than that, but I did end up sticking 10, 000 within 5 months and then on to 40, 000 by month 9 of that year. And it was simply mindset. I was tired of being broke. I was tired of the situation I was in, and I kind of went cold Turkey with the spending.

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[00:13:59] Shay: Obviously not. But my mindset was different. Like, if I just focused and stayed on the course of this goal and just was more disciplined and aware of my spending, I could really do some great things.

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[00:14:23] Natalie: It happens to me too. It's like, I have the emergency fund, but then I got to tap into that emergency fund and then, you know, we just keep kind of going in this cycle of in and out. Sometimes I'm still confused. Y'all. So this, this episode is just as much for me as it is for the listeners. But, um, you know, yeah, Like, that discipline to be like, you're not paying for anything for six months, how did it feel?

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[00:14:59] Natalie: I have to get an outfit. So, I just want to know more about, like, What was going through your mind during that time and the emotions that related? Yeah.

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[00:15:25] Shay: And so I got to meet her in person, saw that her personality and the online persona was the same. Thank you. You're welcome. attended a free financial literacy workshop that she put on and I was like, okay, I learned the ABCs of finance. I need you to now teach me exactly what I need to do. I went into this six month of dry season, really focused on maximizing the money that I was going to be making and so all of the information that I had learned, so I met her in November and I started my savings journey in January.

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[00:16:28] Shay: And I said, I want that. And so I didn't feel any type of way. I would meal prep Wednesdays and Sundays. I would grocery shop. I would pack my lunch, pack my snacks to work. I was really, really, really committed. And so I didn't see, and also to. I don't know.

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[00:17:08] Shay: So typically that's, that's six months of just focus. And then guess what? The next year to two years after that, I was traveling, I was buying all the clothes that I wanted, that I needed, you know, like, for example, I need to revamp my wardrobe, I haven't been able to do that. Just, it's like the little bit of work that you put in, allowed me to get what I wanted.

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[00:17:41] Natalie: Yeah, I love that. You talked about a lot of things. You talked about accountability. You talked about just educating yourself and ramping up. So it wasn't just like a flick of a switch. Oh, all of a sudden my mindset's changed.

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[00:18:17] Natalie: If it happened for this person, it could happen for me too. And you start to like, build up your confidence. Okay, and I like we said like it wasn't forever. It's not like you don't spend now It's just like it was first season to get you to a goal and now it's just a part of your lifestyle So you don't necessarily have to cut back so much, but you already got that like baseline that you were looking for Um, and I think that that's so important now You, you talked about something on your Instagram, and this is going left for a second, but it really kind of struck me because I know a lot of young people who passed away within the last year, like just randomly, so unexpected in great health.

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[00:19:20] Shay: Yep, yep. You know. We don't love talking about the possibility of us getting sick or passing away. Those two life events have such a dramatic effect on finances and that's why we need to have a financial plan. So on the side of getting sick, most of the time that's going to negatively impact our ability to work and make money.

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[00:20:11] Shay: And then that's for everybody, especially people who have responsibilities. So, if I'm contributing financially to my household, I need to make sure that if anything happens to me, that the household doesn't fall with me. And that's usually what happens. People with children, people with spouses, people who have mortgages, people who are the ATM to their family, do not have a financial plan in place.

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[00:20:53] Shay: If anybody has a potion that makes them live forever, like, let me know, because, you know, I want to live long, you know, like, really, really, really long, forever. But yeah, these things are happening. And I actually have written down a list of, uh, maybe 10 situations that I. I'm aware of that happened that included, um, sickness or death, just because it's so important to, to realize that these things aren't happening to like these random, crazy stories, it's the teacher, it's the uncle, it's, and this is a real situation, 24 year old boy, had a heart attack and passed away.

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[00:21:57] Shay: And if we don't have a foundation, then our financial house is going to crumble.

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[00:22:21] Natalie: Like he was the one who was contributing. Right. And I was like, Oh my God, a year is a really long time. And this is a very hardworking person. So they were going to interview after interview. They were trying so hard. They're very well qualified. But for whatever reason, it just kept not working out. And he was just running on his savings, but his savings had literally, you know, it was almost exhausted.

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[00:23:02] Natalie: but at least if you start to build that nest because because you just never know and I think it's so important as you said to just have the plan because You're not saying it's going to happen, but if it does happen and you have no plan, you've already taken everybody else down. So it's not just about you recovering.

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[00:23:27] Shay: yeah. So two things. One is. Yeah, the job market has been real wonky, you know, and people need to realize that just because you stop working or something happens to you, your bills, every month, they're going to be knocking on the door.

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[00:23:54] Natalie: Yeah. So tell me like, what are some misconceptions that you've had people share with you that you've had to like debunk?

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[00:24:26] Shay: Multiple people actually leverage debt to build wealth because, for example, taking out a loan means that, I don't have to pay taxes on that. And also to it allows me to access money, other people's money sooner than it would take for me to save. It does take a while to save, but if I have access to credit, I can use that to invest in something that can earn me money.

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[00:25:15] Shay: If I use this credit card to buy much materialistic things that I never even end up wearing, that's wasted money. Both of those things are me though. So, I want us to shift how we feel about debt. And understand that if we leverage it properly, it can be a super, super powerful tool. I would say that's one of the biggest misconceptions.

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[00:25:53] Shay: They're afraid to invest. They think that working hard is going to get them to their goals. So it's a difference in mindset and skill set. But everybody has the right to be wealthy. You simply have to learn the rules of the money game and apply them. And your chances of getting there are a lot higher.

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[00:26:38] Shay: Yeah, so the relationship between money and wellness is so connected. I always tell people that, you know, how you feel about yourself, your level of confidence, will directly impact how you manage your money and how you see money. And then, lack of money also can impact your self love and self confidence.

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[00:27:29] Shay: And I talk to a lot of people and sometimes it's cap. Like sometimes people are really struggling and they're posting the designer shoes and the car and the rims and all this stuff and so You had mentioned this earlier consuming when you start to consume certain things first if you're using social media as an educational platform then the more you consume certain content the more you see it So if you didn't want to start shifting your mind to making money You just need to watch a few videos and now your whole feed is filled with that, right?

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[00:28:31] Shay: And so, there needs to be a humility when it comes to your financial status, and you want to focus more on what are the habits that you're doing to change your life, not in a way to show off for other people, make people think that you are a certain way. But to actually improve your own life.

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[00:28:55] Natalie: Actually, I remember hearing, I can't remember who it was, but she said her goal was stealth wealth. And I love that, like, you know, be, I like that, like have your money, but nobody needs to know you have it. And let me ask you, what's, what's your legacy here?

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[00:29:16] Shay: Yes. So the main thing is I am, there's a part of what I'm doing that is disrupting the system. So teaching people financial literacy is disrupting the system because it's not in the education system for a reason.

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[00:29:51] Shay: And so that's a part of it. And then the other part of it is changing the way people experience information and education. You know, I struggled in math when I was a kid and I never got the help that I needed. I'd asked a teacher to help me and basically said, you should know this already. And I vowed to never make someone feel that way from my actions.

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[00:30:39] Shay: So yeah, I would say those two things.

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[00:30:51] Natalie: Right? And you're like, then you don't even want to like, do what they said. Right? Because you're like, okay, you don't even get me. You're not trying to let me live. And we still want to live along the way. And we just got to find ways to be responsible and be strategic about what we're doing. What are the plans that we're making for ourselves?

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[00:31:18] Shay: One tip. Book a consultation with me. They're complimentary. Tell us more.

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[00:31:46] Shay: It actually goes over where they are, what they have, and what's missing from their financial house so that we can elevate what they're already doing or implement things that are missing from the puzzle. And that is something that, unfortunately, people at the bank do not have time to do. You know, when people go to the bank and say, I want this, they get that.

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[00:32:18] Natalie: Yes, like everyone book a consultation with Shea because at the end of the day, if it's free, you might as well see, because maybe they can learn something even if it's a short time.

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[00:32:48] Natalie: Actually, this is a little off, right? So it's just somebody else to look at what you got going on and to just help you. And also if you just have questions, right? Sometimes you have questions and you don't know who to go to. We talked about going to people who give the wrong advice. So go to Shay. She's a licensed financial professional.

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[00:33:09] Mhm.

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[00:33:18] Shay: Cookies.

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[00:33:23] Shay: The Psychology of Money.

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[00:33:35] Shay: I'm going to the gym. I like to lift heavy things.

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[00:33:48] Shay: Rich in heart

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[00:33:50] Natalie: Shay, thank you so much for coming on this show. I want you to tell the people how can they get a hold of you, how they can connect with you, and learn more about your services.

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[00:34:04] Shay: Stay tuned to my page. I post any upcoming workshops that I have going on, seminars, and finance tips all the time. So I'd love to see you there. And I also follow back. So love to see you there.

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