S2.E3. Overcoming Limiting Beliefs: The Transformative Power of NLP and Timeline Therapy w. Heather Lee Chapman

[: 00:00:00

[00:00:12] Heather: Thank you so much for having me, Natalie. I'm so grateful to be here with you and share all about NLP and timeline therapy with your audience.

[: 00:00:20

[00:00:36] Heather: Well, it's a topic that has come up a lot recently with people, and I was scrolling through and looking at the titles, and it really caught my eye about to stop normalizing toxic behavior. And guys, you want to check in. That's a four minute episode, episode number 64, Off the Cuff, so good, so many golden nuggets in there.

[: 00:00:55

[00:01:18] Heather: They weren't unconsciously, intentionally trying to trigger me or start fights or belittle me, all that behavior that you were talking about on the episode. So that was the biggest thing is that most people don't even know it's toxic behavior. So you've gotta leave the environment, try different environments, hang out with different people who are focused on mental health, wellness, personal growth.

[: 00:01:41

[00:02:04] Heather: But in the end, it's about filling your cup and you can't do it without those healthy boundaries. And so create that space, set those boundaries, and put yourself in different environments so that you can start to see how real healthy behavior looks like.

[: 00:02:20

[00:02:35] Natalie: But it's so important to be able to normalize toxic, uh, to see where you are experiencing toxic behavior and then what the changes are that you need to make.

[: 00:02:44

[00:02:55] Natalie: And I'd love for you to share, what is that? And how can people use this as tools for personal transformation?

[: 00:03:04

[00:03:27] Heather: I even had looked a lot at doing my master's and PhD in psychology and everything kept leading me back to NLP instead of psychology. So I did a lot of research into it and found that it is what the elites of the elites use. It's what's used in marketing. It's what's used to direct human behavior. It is basically so NLP is the study of excellence.

[: 00:03:50

[00:04:18] Heather: So we look a lot at the neuro. So the neurology that gets strengthened via the language we use to describe our experience or our reality. That's what programs us. So in our unc, we have a conscious and an unconscious mind. Our conscious mind was like, yeah, I'm going to have a coffee and I'm going to come on this podcast today.

[: 00:04:40

[00:04:59] Heather: So where do the other millions of bits go? They go into your unconscious mind. This is where I like to call we have. filters. If all that information gets deleted, distorted, and generalized based off your conditioning and mental filters, which were given to you by the model of the world you grew up in.

[: 00:05:19

[00:05:45] Heather: So what we're looking to do with NLP is help change the filters, help change the behavior to elicit change, positive change that lasts. Because often we force things and they can, that change only stays for so long 'cause we are willing it, but we actually have to work with changing the unconscious mind because that is running 98% of your thoughts, feelings, and actions.

[: 00:06:13

[00:06:32] Heather: I've got hypnotherapy. I'm a certified nutritional practitioner. I have so many tools in my belt, studied advanced spiritual training. And timeline therapy is the tool that gets the quickest breakthrough for clients and gets to the root cause. So with timeline therapy, we're able to access your unconscious mind by putting you into a relaxed state and using certain language to be able to get you into that state where we can go in.

[: 00:07:01

[00:07:23] Heather: But those are the things that we need to change to change the results on the outside. So that 98 percent of your thoughts, feelings, actions, and beliefs are different. So your results can be different. And with timeline therapy, we're actually working, um, with the beliefs. from this lifetime, from past lifetimes, and passed down genealogically.

[: 00:07:47

[00:08:16] Heather: um, review like while they're watching it happen under ultrasounds. So there's so much we just don't know. We don't know about the human body, mind, and experience yet. Um, but there's so much more for us to learn. We just really have to be open for the opportunity. So timeline therapy and neuro linguistics isn't commonly known or talked about.

[: 00:08:37

[00:08:51] Natalie: Wow, I love that. You know, there's so many things that come to mind, but I'll start with how you kind of got introduced to NLP, because I think I kind of stumbled into NLP as well. When I was doing my wellness coaching certification, the program was designed with an NLP influence. So it was kind of guiding us, how should we ask our questions to be able to help our clients and our coaching clients be able to tap into their subconscious.

[: 00:09:17

[00:10:27] Heather: So I have referred clients to psychologists and psychotherapists, and I find that can be great value for people. But what we also understand is that the mind doesn't understand the difference between real and imagined and so from research they've shown that talk therapy is actually increasing the cortisol in the body and the stress in the body because you're having the person relive the experience over and over again and what they ideally are trying to do is remove the emotion from it.

[: 00:10:52

[00:11:04] Heather: So it just is but then you're actually strengthen those neural pathways. So I know there's, and I haven't seen a psychologist or a psychotherapist myself, so I can't speak to it. I know lots of people have, um, received help and support and benefited from it, but I also believe that NLP and timeline therapy is getting to the root cause, not a symptom.

[: 00:11:30

[00:11:51] Heather: So that behavior that's happening often is what we call a secondary gain. You do that behavior to validate the limiting belief. So the secondary gain is go see, I am unworthy. And so the behavior is a byproduct of the belief and so what we want to do is actually get to the root cause. So I think they do go hand in hand and I did recently work with a client who noted of how many years he had done talk therapy. We just did the rapid breakthrough, which was about two and a half hours. We have to do negative emotions first before we can work with the limiting beliefs. Um, and it had been weeks and he hadn't gone back and he'd felt better than he ever had.

[: 00:12:34

[00:12:54] Natalie: And I, I really appreciate you sharing that because I think so many times, and I love what you said, it's not about a competition, it's not that one is better than the other, everything has its place and everything has its purpose. One of the things I'm really passionate about on this podcast is just giving people options. Giving them tools that they can put in their toolbox and figure out what works for them, right? And sometimes what works for you in this season is going to be different from what works for you in another season. So you need to have a variety of tools for a variety of experiences. It's just like, you know, if my table breaks, the saw is not what puts it back together.

[: 00:13:29

[00:13:54] Natalie: And I think that NLP and Timeline Therapy is a great addition to one's toolbox. Now, can you tell me

[: 00:14:00

[00:14:10] Heather: Well, so because, um, I am timeline therapy, NLP and hypnotherapy designated, the hypnotherapy is usually the one, like a lot of people don't know a lot about timeline therapy or NLP, but they're familiar with hypnotherapy. But the old thing with hypnotherapy is like, we're going to get you to get on the stage and cluck like a chicken, right?

[: 00:14:28

[00:14:50] Heather: So don't worry, we aren't going to like, put witch power over you and put you under some kind of hypnotic control. That's not what it looks like at all. So that's one of the biggest misconceptions. Um. And then another misconception I find is that, um, it is going to be this one and done with mindset work, like, Oh, just fix me.

[: 00:15:12

[00:15:35] Heather: So we like to joke that the self healing experience is like an onion. There's many layers. And when you think you've nailed it, you're like, Oh, there's one more layer. And when you think you nailed that, there's one more layer. And so it's a journey. It's a self healing journey. There's no magic pill, whether it's psychotherapy, timeline therapy, NLP.

[: 00:15:56

[00:16:12] Heather: And then the other is that, oh, it's just a magic pill. It's a one and done. Self healing is a journey. You have to be willing to do the inner work. Most people have taken all their emotions, all their experiences. They've put them in boxes. They've never dealt with it and they've buried it somewhere. And then when an external experience happens, it triggers the past unhealed experience.

[: 00:16:37

[00:16:57] Heather: And so it is a journey. not a one and done. And I just want people to be open to that journey and be willing to open those boxes. To feel the feelings, uh, that we probably were too afraid to before, and then use the NLP tools and techniques to reframe the experience to get what you need to learn from it, and so that you can move past it, and so that it no longer controls your future reality and results.

[: 00:17:28

[00:17:29] Natalie: It's definitely a journey. I think personal development, self improvement. Once you start, it's almost obsessive. You just want to continue and you because you realize the power of it, right? You

[: 00:17:40

[00:17:47] Natalie: None of us live in a bubble. So societal influences are always impacting us either directly or indirectly. Our family is impacting us. Our work is

[: 00:17:56

[00:19:15] Natalie: don't feel well, I have this reaction in my body, and then your doctor gives you medication and it deals with the symptoms. But right now we're seeing a crisis in healthcare.

[: 00:19:25

[00:20:34] Natalie: Why am I anxious? Not just the symptoms of that. I feel uncomfortable. I feel nervous. I feel stressed. What are the root causes that have happened even in our childhood? And what you mentioned about, you know, other experiences even from our past, maybe generations before, that is carrying through the DNA. That is really fascinating to me. It's really high level and maybe for some people that might see Spooked him out a little bit and they're like, okay, I don't know what where she's going with this But I think the point here is to be open, right? And if we're open minded, I'm not a person who thinks I think you have To do what's in alignment for you So you can take certain parts of what someone says and be open to those parts and if you feel something's out of alignment for You then reject it, right?

[: 00:21:16

[00:21:32] Natalie: I want to understand the root cause. I want to go back and figure out why this happened. And then, now, how can I reframe, just as you said, so that I can move forward? This is where your power comes. That is your secret sauce that is going to really move you forward in life. And not just at a small speed.

[: 00:21:50

[00:22:05] Natalie: And so that's what I really love about what you're sharing.

[: 00:22:08

[00:22:34] Heather: My eyes were swollen shut. I couldn't breathe. I was in chronic pain. I'd be in tears. My digestion was horrible. My hair was falling out. I literally thought I was dying. My doctor did all the things and was like, well, you're the healthiest person I'm going to see all day. So what do you want me to do?

[: 00:22:50

[00:22:54] Heather: So I went and saw a naturopath because there are other opportunities, right? There's naturopathic doctors and I'm very blessed that my mother introduced this to more natural medicine. She had a similar experience with a doctor. Um, and so she went to a natural route. And so I went to nutrition school and I heal myself and it was amazing.

[: 00:23:12

[00:23:32] Heather: Save your money for the supplements that you're using. The only thing above what I was doing, because I've covered like all my bases on holistic healing, only thing above what he was doing was, um, He said he could give me an injection, what do you call those things when people want to get rid of wrinkles, to help with the migraines, right?

[: 00:23:53

[00:24:14] Heather: So I believe everything happens for a reason and it's just finding that meaning. You get to give your experience meaning. So something, this is one of the best NLP tools. So take this guys, write this down. Something happens. And then you give it a meaning and you usually give it a meaning because of the beliefs and the unconscious filters that you have.

[: 00:24:37

[00:24:58] Heather: And it's essential for those people and I'm going to go over here. So you have to find what works for you. I believe there's a place for everything, but I truly believe and know that we are self healing organisms and we just don't know what we don't know yet. And so that brings us to the mind part. So our thoughts are creating physiological responses in our body.

[: 00:25:23

[00:25:45] Heather: So, one of the biggest transformations for health is your self talk and the words you use to describe your experience and the meaning you give to your experiences. Because that language that you're using to describe everything is creating a physical. And in this in the body. And DISEASE is when the thoughts aren't in alignment and harmony with your deepest desires.

[: 00:26:11

[00:27:01] Heather: So choose the language that's going to serve you best.

[: 00:27:05

[00:27:24] Natalie: We don't, for the most part, go around saying that. But if we can just quiet, when we try to do something, So, oh I want to sign up for this. Mmm. No something in the back of our mind says nope I'm not gonna do it and it's in that moment. What is holding you back from taking the action? That's where you can find what the thought is, right?

[: 00:27:45

[00:28:02] Natalie: I think if you can be curious about your thoughts, you can really go down a rabbit hole, but a rabbit hole of discovery, where you can really become more aware of your thoughts. And once you're aware of your thoughts, you can isolate them, you can reframe them, and now you can move forward and really shift your mindset.

[: 00:28:18

[00:28:37] Heather: So how it would feel to have the goal achieved. So we go through a series of questions and during those questions, how we help to identify the limiting beliefs. One of the famous questions is why or how or when is that a problem? So you were asking yourself, so I really want to launch my business. And the belief is like, well, that would be really scary.

[: 00:28:57

[00:29:11] Heather: Well, why is it a problem if you don't leave the impact? Cause I'm going to die unhappy and fulfilled. Okay. One of my biggest. beliefs or fears is I'm going to die unhappy and fulfilled. And you go all the way until you can't go any deeper. And then you find that limiting belief. And a simple reframe is you just switch to the opposite.

[: 00:29:27

[00:29:48] Heather: So you would say I am living happy and fulfilled and you would just switch. So an affirmation is a command you've simply been giving to yourself. And so previously, unconsciously, 80 percent of your thoughts have been negative and those have been the command. So you simply just. Flip the switch. And if you can't come up with something of the opposite, you simply just be grateful for the contrast and then focus your energy on something else.

[: 00:30:15

[00:30:24] Natalie: No, I love that. You've been giving some really great tips. I really hope the listeners are taking note. I'm definitely taking note for myself because there is so much power in everything that you're saying. And this is why I always like to add an affirmation to my podcast as well. Not just for people to say for themselves, but also for them to hear it. Because sometimes they're not even used to people speaking positively around them. So it's hard for them to think it for themselves. So I think of affirmations when I'm saying on the podcast, I want to affirm you so that you can then affirm yourself. And I think that is, something I'm so passionate about, but also really allows for empowerment. And Heather, for my final question, before we go into rapid fire, I want to ask you, sometimes people are hesitant to do mindset work, okay? And maybe they have deep traumas that they really aren't wanting to kind of, Resurface or relive, maybe they don't want to know what their limiting beliefs are. what advice do you have for people who might be in that situation where they're hesitant to overcome their limiting beliefs and traumas, but it would be so powerful for them.

[: 00:31:34

[00:31:52] Heather: You will self sabotage as you go to make the change to get those secondary gains of the limiting beliefs. See, you aren't worthy enough. And so as you go to make those changes, you have to actually change your self image and change your inner dialogue and change your beliefs so that you can come out on the other side.

[: 00:32:13

[00:32:38] Heather: And you said something about a butterfly or a caterpillar earlier. Like, have you ever seen that analogy where the caterpillar is going to the butterfly? It's like, Hey, you changed. And the butterfly is like, yeah, we're supposed to like, you're supposed to grow and change. We're not remaining the same. Our cells are growing or dying.

[: 00:32:55

[00:33:25] Heather: And so it's really hard if you just try to force it and will it and do it on your own. Do it with a practitioner within you. like myself or Natalie, because this is like speaking from someone, myself, who literally was just smashing that glass ceiling over and over again, willing it. I could not work any harder.

[: 00:33:44

[00:34:03] Heather: You literally open it up. Okay. I'm having kidney issues. It tells you what the limiting belief is that you've been affirming and it gives you the new affirmation. I just really want you to lean into the possibility of what's on the other side because what I have seen that's possible for people is what they're willing to allow and not allow in their life.

[: 00:34:24

[00:34:48] Heather: It's like a whole new life. Like, it's incredible. So if you're sitting on the fence and you're going like, Oh, change is scary. You're right. I asked Bob Proctor, he was one of my mentors in his masterclass. I was like, Bob, how do you make this easier? And he laughed. He's like, it's the same process every single time.

[: 00:35:09

[00:35:26] Heather: That is growth.

[: 00:35:27

[00:35:54] Natalie: So start with a really easy question beach or mountains.

[: 00:35:59

[00:36:00] Natalie: I Agree always best best book you've ever read.

[: 00:36:06

[00:36:26] Heather: And then my favorite all time book is called The Magic. It's a 28 day gratitude book, uh, practice by Ron O'Brien, who wrote The Secret, The Power of the Hero, The Magic, The Magic. You want to change your neurology and your perception to a state of gratitude. You could literally create magic in your life.

[: 00:36:43

[00:36:59] Natalie: I Love that. Okay. What's your favorite way to fill your cup?

[: 00:37:04

[00:37:30] Heather: But first it's literally just pausing to let my cup be filled.

[: 00:37:33

[00:37:48] Heather: To love yourself.

[: 00:37:52

[00:37:58] Heather: of what you believe is possible for you. And so the biggest thing to help you level up your life and change your life and live a healthy life, set those boundaries, what you'll allow and not allow is to truly love yourself.

[: 00:38:10

[00:38:11] Natalie: Thank you so much heather for sharing please tell the listeners how can they find out more about you how can they work with you Tell us everything

[: 00:38:19

[00:38:42] Heather: So change your habits and change your life. We also have all our events on there. So we run free masterclasses, free network mastermind events. We've got all the courses and everything. If you want to work with us, everything you need to know, own it, empire. com and make sure you grab that free habit tracker because I've used this with elite performers as well with clients with acquired brain injuries.

[: 00:39:05

[00:39:23] Heather: So change your habits, change your life, make sure you grab that and make sure you check out all our events. We'd love to have you and thank you for having us on the show.

[: 00:39:32