S2.E15. FINANCES: Healing your Relationships with Money, Starting Over

[: 00:00:00

[00:00:13] Natalie: Once you understand These pillars, then you know how to create more balance and fulfillment in your own life as you work to create your own version of a wealthy life. Last month was focused on the career pillar.

[: 00:00:25

[00:00:50] Natalie: And I'm sure if you're listening, you'd probably agree. Now, before we get into today's topic, let's just do a wellness check. Okay? A time to just check in with yourself and acknowledge, how are you doing? Really? Let's just pause and reflect. I want you to rate yourself from one to 10. How are you feeling in this current moment?

[: 00:01:15

[00:01:39] Natalie: So as I mentioned, the theme for this month is finances and it's the third pillar I'm covering because the relationship that people have with finances and with money, it goes deep. Divorce, breakup, stress, anxiety, depression, home loss, fighting, all of this happens because of poor financial health and our money stories are formed from childhood.

[: 00:02:06

[00:02:24] Natalie: But if you've had a turbulent or negative or, you know, even mediocre relationship with money in the past, and you're looking to improve your finances, well, I hope that this month's episode is really going to help you to elevate your financial literacy and just empower you to make decisions in this area of your life.

[: 00:02:47

[00:03:05] Natalie: Money is complicated and emotional for a lot of people. And we all have money stories. And to be honest, our money stories aren't easy. I want you to think back. What's the first memory that you have of money? One that stands out to you, one that gives you an emotional charge.

[: 00:03:26

[00:03:46] Natalie: So I just felt like everybody else around was making quite a big deal about the layoff as well. And at that time, I just really learned how stressful finances can be and how it can really take a toll, not just on one person, but on the entire family. Now. Growing up, my family never really had a lot of money.

[: 00:04:07

[00:04:40] Natalie: Then, things got a little tough again in university because, I mean, if you're a university student, usually the struggle is real, and at that point, I was not asking my parents to support me at all. So, I paid my tuition, I paid my textbooks, I paid if I was traveling, if I was going out, if I was eating out, whatever those expenses were, they were all on me.

[: 00:05:01

[00:05:26] Natalie: And honestly, it was, it was not a lot of money. I think it was like three or 4, 000 at the most. And then I had to pay a penalty and I was so sad about that too. But you know, at that time, that seemed like a lot of money to me. And I really regret that because that money could have just sat in the account and grown even if I didn't contribute anything further.

[: 00:05:48

[00:06:07] Natalie: So I just felt like I was kind of going in circles. I'd save money, then I'd spend it, then I'd save money, then I'd spend it, I'd pay off the credit card, then all of a sudden these numbers appeared again, then I'd pay it off, and then more numbers again. But something happened when I decided to close my business and then I didn't have a job for a few months.

[: 00:06:27

[00:06:49] Natalie: Every single book that they had that I thought was a vague interest to me, I read and I made notes and I. Really try to make changes right away of what are the things I can do to help me get to the next level now. I'll pause for a 2nd, say it's not like I'm a financial literacy expert or anything like that.

[: 00:07:08

[00:07:21] Natalie: Uh, you heard a little bit about it in my past mindset episode, and you'll hear about it again in the upcoming episode with Hejiana, but you know what? They say what doesn't kill you only makes you stronger. So here we are. And this year, again, I'm just excited to jump back in full throttle with my finances.

[: 00:07:40

[00:08:18] Natalie: Can you do things that bring you joy and fulfillment? Can you help others? Can you donate? Can you eat out? Can you buy video games? Can you travel? Whatever it is that you enjoy in life. Does the money you earn allow you to do such things? Now the last two years I think have really taken a toll on people just across the globe due to inflation and high interest rates and most people are feeling it one way or the other.

[: 00:08:44

[00:09:01] Natalie: So money and finances really does play a big impact on our wellbeing. And there's several different challenges. So the first one I would say is all about financial literacy. People simply don't understand how money works. They don't know how to keep it and they don't know how to increase it.

[: 00:09:20

[00:09:44] Natalie: And statistically speaking, women actually score lower than men on financial literacy assessment. So it's really important that women who are listening, make sure you get your financial literacy in order.

[: 00:09:55

[00:10:17] Natalie: Usually that doesn't work out well, right? And so that shame leads to people not even wanting to open their bank accounts. They just like ignore the reality of their financial situation. But for others, the shame is, is deep because that's just how they grew up. They grew up poor. They, everyone around them is poor.

[: 00:10:33

[00:10:53] Natalie: And you just swipe, swipe, swipe with your eyes closed. You're not really paying attention to the balance or you're, you're robbing Peter to pay Paul, you know, your credit card stays on repeat and there's just no control over the spending. And it's funny. Cause I actually remember one of my friends, a really good friend of mine.

[: 00:11:12

[00:11:37] Natalie: Now, even though he was saying he was broke, I mean, he had His bank account was well sorted out. He had lots of money in there, but in his mind, once he was done with his spending allocation, he was done. So he was really disciplined in that and I always remember that and admired that.

[: 00:11:52

[00:12:15] Natalie: Another challenge is just like people don't have a financial leg up and I don't think this gets talked enough about but a lot of People gain wealth through their families So maybe through inheritances from grandparents or aunts or uncles or big cash donations from family members financial contributions from parents loans without interest, those kinds of things.

[: 00:12:42

[00:13:00] Natalie: Right, so it's just important to acknowledge that because not everybody has those opportunities and it really does give you a huge Like up even things like very big wedding gifts or a big down payment towards a home like that can really Start you off on a journey towards financial wealth that other people simply wouldn't be able to do on their own.

[: 00:13:25

[00:13:48] Natalie: Because there's going to be a lot of stress until you can figure that part out. But we're always in a place where we can learn and grow. And so if you're listening to this episode, you're in the right place.

[: 00:14:01

[00:14:12] Natalie: There are so, so, so many limiting beliefs that happen around money. So I'm just going to choose three, but one is that I never have enough money. And when people say this, it's almost like they're speaking it into existence. It's like they're perpetuating a state and a feeling that they have currently.

[: 00:14:36

[00:14:58] Natalie: Okay. But the first step, even if you don't believe it, is just start speaking a different reality and eventually your mindset will shift. The next limiting belief is, I'm broke. Now, let me tell you, a lot of people say this, and I remember when I was younger I heard a pastor and he said, You shouldn't say you're broke.

[: 00:15:19

[00:15:53] Natalie: So you can just do a search if you're looking for money affirmations and just money reframes that are going to help you shift your mindset. And the last one, this is one that often is told to children is like money doesn't grow on trees, right? Like you always hear your parents saying that, and it comes from a good place.

[: 00:16:11

[00:16:32] Natalie: So now I want to take a moment to just focus on disruptive wellness Which is the intentional choice to push back on the status quo and society's narrative of what success Looks like for you and just redefine it based on your version of a wealthy life You And so I want you to ask yourself, does your current financial situation reflect a wealthy life and do you feel content when you look at your bank account or do you feel stress?

[: 00:17:01

[00:17:08] Natalie: As always, I want to offer some strategies that would be a good first step to getting a hold of your finances. But make sure you tune in this month because we have some great interviews coming up with some really good tips that can just help you move forward. The first step that I would suggest, and this really is thinking about finances from a wellness perspective, is that you have to heal your relationship with money.

[: 00:17:35

[00:17:58] Natalie: It's not healthy to walk around with fear, right? It debilitates you. So, Work on healing your relationship with money. You'll hear later in another episode of Hey Gianna, which was my financial coach that had to help me with this.

[: 00:18:21

[00:18:43] Natalie: for listening. Or two, you can find other ways to bring in income. So this might be starting your own business or starting a side hustle, investing, just other ways that you can increase the money that's coming in so that you feel more financially comfortable and can spend money on things that are going to improve your quality of life.

[: 00:19:06

[00:19:27] Natalie: They don't want to get into finances. And because of that, there's a lot of secrecy and shame. But there's also a lot of abuse and there's a lot of mismanagement and a lot of harm that happens. So if we can be more transparent from the very beginning, we can try to prevent some of these things from happening, or we can also educate ourselves and become more aware and more confident in discussing topics of money.

[: 00:19:52

[00:20:09] Natalie: Let's talk about how we can create more of it, how we can multiply our money, how we can level up, how we can create generational wealth. These are the conversations that you want to position yourself to have. The fourth strategy is about investing. I think this is the number one thing that you can do to change your financial situation.

[: 00:20:29

[00:20:53] Natalie: A lot of people feel intimidated by the stock market. They think they need a financial advisor or a broker. You can go on and do it yourself. And if you feel uncomfortable, but you want to start, just ask somebody that you know, who's doing it or find a financial coach or financial advisor who can help you, but find one that's going to teach you what to do.

[: 00:21:12

[00:21:35] Natalie: And the last one is going to be to spend consciously towards your wealthy life. I think a lot of times, especially as children, you hear, Oh, you have to save your money, don't spend. And it's like you save your money, but then it's not growing, right? It's just. You don't, you don't know how to leverage it.

[: 00:21:54

[00:22:14] Natalie: Like, don't waste it, right? Like, don't buy food that you're not going to enjoy. Don't go blow it out for a night of drinking if you're going to be sick in the morning and regret it. Right? But if you like to travel, go spend your money on travel and do it. If you like good food, go to a great restaurant and really enjoy your meal.

[: 00:22:34

[00:22:50] Natalie: So for today's call to action, it's a journal prompt and I want you to write about this. What emotions or beliefs do you associate with money? And how do they impact your financial decision making process? And I'll give you a bonus one, which is to really investigate what is the relationship that you have with money based on how you grew up and based on what you observed in your family.

[: 00:23:17

[00:23:23] Natalie: Alright let's talk about the pillar check. What are the other pillars that are being impacted by your finances? Because we know that. wellness is holistic and that everything's interconnected. So as an example, if you feel constantly stressed and that you don't have enough money, then this is directly connected to the career pillar because your income doesn't allow you to live comfortably.

[: 00:23:47

[00:24:06] Natalie: So you're eating a lot of processed food and packaged food. Well, this directly impacts your food and body pillars. If money keeps you up late at night, you can't sleep and you feel stress and anxiety and depression. This is impacting your mindset pillar. If you want to get a breakdown on all the 12 wellness pillars and find out how you score, you can download the free assessment in the show notes.

[: 00:24:30

[00:25:03] Natalie: Okay. If you're in debt, if you don't know the financial terms or you, you just spend a lot, it doesn't matter. There is no judgment here. Just listening to this episode is a great first step. Listen to it again and share it with somebody else. Okay. There's going to be some really great episodes this month that will really empower you to just take your financial relationship to the next level.

[: 00:25:26

[00:25:49] Natalie: edit and just start to learn more about personal finances. You can also start following financial content creators. I will link a few of them in the show notes and they're all great. I recommend them. They will just open your mind to a whole world of possibilities. And I'll give a special shout out to Rennie because I'm in Rennie's Financial Accountability Group and I've learned a lot of financial gems from Rennie so I really appreciate her podcast, it's called Don't Grow Bulk Trying, and just the content that she puts out on her page which is called Rennie the Resource.

[: 00:26:26

[00:26:47] Natalie: And if you can leave a five star rating on Spotify, I would appreciate that as well. Till next time, continue to serve yourself, your loved ones, and your community from a full cup.